OK, Let’s Have the “Thai Girls” Talk…That’s right, we cannot fail to engage with the issue of fidelity/infidelity in Thai-farang relationships. In fact, we must address more than the narrow question that is usually asked: “Can Thai girls be faithful to a farang?” Because the short answer is, “yes, of course they can. Most are.” But it’s the longer answer that matters, and is the point of this blog entry.
Our experience tells us that discussions about Thai-farang relationships rarely address the fundamental issue that will ultimately determine the success or failure of a Thai-Farang relationship. The issue is not really whether Thai girls can be faithful to their boyfriends or husbands. Because, again, of course they can. Many are. But of course, some aren’t. And that’s probably why you’re here. The real bedrock issue you to need to engage is this:
How much transparency can you reasonably expect from the Thai Girl in your relationship or marriage?
Now what do I mean by transparency and why is it the real issue?
Transparency is just being open and forthright about yourself and your life. A transparent person is sort of like the proverbial “open book,” or as some Westerners might put it, being a “what you see is what you get” sort of person. Transparency is the real issue — and not the specific concern about whether she will or can be faithful — because whether you can hope for any kind of happy relationship at all with this girl, which would of course mean her being faithful to you, depends more fundamentally on how open and honest she is in general about herself, her life, her values, and her hopes for the future.
You should already have a pretty good sense of how transparent things are. Ask yourself questions like: What do I know about her family? Where did she go to school to obtain the level of education she says she has? Who are her closest and oldest friends? What do I really know about them from her? What do I know about her vision for the future? What are her basic values concerning things like marriage, family, friendship, etc.
If you’ve been seeing her for a while and you don’t have pretty good answers to these questions, you have a transparency problem. And from that can stem all your worst nightmares.
Now why might it be the case that transparency in Thai Girls seems in short supply? That is, why is it so commonly heard that they often hide really important facts about themselves, such as having children — and the number of children – having worked as a bar girl or freelance, etc.? Well, there are actually good answers to that question. And understanding these is essential for you to make informed decisions about whether to move forward in the relationship.
A few important facts of Thai Life
For a start, many Thai girls were raised in poverty, have had few educational opportunities, and thus often face few job prospects. These facts alone explain why so many Thai girls have some experience with the sex industry. And though Thailand may be internationally renowned as a sex tourism hotspot, having been or being a bar girl or freelance is not the sort of thing Thai Girls would flaunt.
It is also commonly the case that Thai girls have big responsibilities for supporting families and ailing parents. And they understand that this is a financial burden that many farangs either cannot afford or do not wish to take on. So what incentive do these girls have to be fully open about their lives? Not many.
And of course, there is the fact that as a farang, like it or not, you carry the baggage of all those farangs who came before you and who were known to either up and leave the country — and the girlfriend or even wife — with no notice, or simply drop the girl friend of many years for a younger one.
For all these reasons, many Thai girls will be less than fully forthcoming about themselves and their real lives. And it’s totally understandable. But as we say, our experience is that if your relationship does not boast much transparency, you probably have good reason to be concerned. For reasons often beyond her control, it may well be in your girlfriend’s interest to keep important facts about herself to herself.
With that understanding, if you are considering hiring a private detective, you probably have some reasons for your doubts. And it is true that we have not delivered great news to many of our clients. We provided the truth, which they needed to have, but it’s never easy to hear that your Thai girlfriend is one of those that seems unable to be faithful. But do not let the fact that many of our clients’ suspicions were well founded make you think most Thai Girls can’t be trusted. The ones that come to us already have some indication that there is something wrong. So it’s not a representative sample. But it perhaps does tell you something important.
Given the many legitimate reasons that many Thai Girls have for being less than fully transparent, if you have your doubts about your girlfriend, you could probably use our help. As
To paraphrase Ronald Reagan:
It’s OK to trust, but you should verify!
